If you are anything like me than you probably find it very hard to say no. And the thing is when you do refuse you can’t shake off that guilty feeling.
Let’s be honest no one likes to be rejected so part of the reason for feeling guilty is that we don’t want to let the other person down. The other part is that you fear that you will not be liked or worse seen as stuck up.
Hopefully by the time you finish reading this post you will be able to say no without feeling guilty.
The truth will always find its way, believe me. What is the point in lying? Neither of you gain anything and you will end up feeling even more guilty for doing so.
It may seem aggressive but nothing beats honesty. Be clear and do not give too much information. So instead of saying “I would love to help you but sadly I can’t today” which implies you can do it on another day and probably might need to end up lying to cover up that you cant do it. Just respond with “Unfortunately I am unable to help you with this but will let you know when I can” which is keeping the ball in your court.
Be selfish and think of your needs before others. Some of us tend to give too much of ourselves to others and forget about the most important person’s needs YOURS. You have a right to do things you enjoy and dedicate time to do what you love. Do help and do things for others but only if it is something you really want do to. In other words don’t agree to do something if it isn’t something you really want to do 1) since you are forcing yourself you will not feel good about it and 2) the other person will probably sense that your heart isn’t in to it.
If this person really cares about you they will appreciate your honesty and understand that there are things that you don’t necessarily enjoy doing, that is so much you can do and you won’t always be available for them etc. If they end up making a big deal out of it and saying things like “I really didn’t think you would do this to me” etc then I say cut your ties with them because you don’t need someone who can’t see beyond their own needs.
I know easier said than done. It is really very simple, just decline and be honest about it. The sooner you respond the better you will feel. don’t beat around the bush or think of weak excuses.
You would be surprised how much happier you will feel for being honest and honoring your time, I know it sounds mean but it’s true! As I said that if this person really cares about you they will understand and hopefully this will be a win/win situation.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this?
How would YOU say no without offending anyone?