October 2016 will mark 4 years since my divorce and funny enough I find myself reflecting on marriage.
It feels like I am an outsider with 9 years experience looking in on marriages today.
I wanted to share my thoughts on marriage because I feel not many couples realize how blessed they are to be married.
After a couple of years many married couples tend to lose the “spark” and when that happens it is usually when problems might occur and some may wonder how a relationship that has once brought them so much joy has now become… so difficult!
One of the perks of being married is that your spouse becomes your best friend. Being able to share your views and feelings is vital in a marriage. We are already aware that due to our gender differences a message can get misunderstood simply because of the way we think and express our feelings. Which is why communication is one of the key factors of a successful marriage along with trust, honesty and commitment.
You have each other now but don’t assume that your significant other will always be there. One day they will be gone and you might find yourself alone, I know its harsh but this is life. Therefore, appreciate each other, life is too short to not enjoy every moment you share (the good and the bad). Set a rule that should you have a misunderstanding that it should be resolved before heading to bed.
I wonder how many of you utter “I love you” to your spouses…3 words with a powerful meaning. Make it a habit of telling each other or better yet show your spouse how much they mean to you every day. I recently discovered a great book which highly recommend you read The 5 Love Languages if you haven’t already.
No one is perfect and we should you expect your spouse to change for for you nor you for them, love someone for who they are not for who you want them to be.
At least once a week make a point to spend time “alone” this means no kids, family or friends just the two of you! Schedule it if you have to, yes, I know you see each other everyday but ensuring that your household runs smoothly is not what I am referring to.
There are so many things that you could do together: book a weekend getaway, go out on a day trip, go out and watch a movie. The objective is to spend quality time together. (Don’t forget to put the phone away too)
I can’t stress on this, remain respectful at ALL TIMES. No matter where you are, how you feel or who you are with. Respect each other when you are alone, in front of others and even during their absence. Your spouse is your other half, a person you probably have kids with, a person who knows you like no other, most importantly a person who you love and loves you back.
Before marriage we put some much effort to looking our best but for some reason after marriage many spouses tend to let themselves go. Don’t fall into that trap, take care of yourself, workout regularly, not only will you feel good but you keep that physical attraction button switched on!
We grew up thinking that once we find “the one” then marriage is a piece of cake! Well it isn’t, marriage is by far the hardest relationship to maintain and you need to work at it every single day.
Once in a while you both need to get away from each other. You know what they say “Absence makes the heart grow stronger”
The days when you feel that your marriage is going through a rough patch, remember that there are some who have yet to be married, divorced or widowed. You are blessed to have someone to come home to, rely on and share your day with and even argue with.
Some have no one…
Who said you have to be serious all the time, make each other laugh, be silly and have fun together!
I know I sound like a true romantic but if you have love celebrate your love, every day in every way!
I hope this well help married couples to realise that they have a lot to be thankful for, and what they share is beautiful, and unique.
To all my single readers I pray that you all find that special someone to share this beautiful journey called life with.
Could you relate to the above points? did I miss something? let me know by sharing your thoughts in the comments below.
Also here are several videos I have on marriage which you might like